A letter to Santa Claus

The sky was grey. White snowflakes were dancing in the air and rained like stardust over the city. Fluffy drifts had piled up and it looked like a blanket wrapped the streets, houses and trees like a baby. The children were playing outside, making snowmen, playing with snowballs, skating with their sleighs. Everywhere you could hear their laughter and joyful voices. They were careless in their enjoyment of the Christmas break.

You could see a pale face with large blue eyes through the window of a house. There breath was steaming up the glass, but he could not hide the smile painted on the lips of little Leia. She watched with a sparkle in her eyes from outside. She was glad the children were covered in snow and playing games and their cheerful chatter floated around. She was watching them silently, dreamy. Oh, how she wanted to be like them. She wanted to make snowballs to throw at her friends, chase and ice-sleds.

- Mom, can I to go out? - She asked, not moving his eyes from view behind the glass.

- No, dear - answered her mother, with her gentle voice. - You know You can't.

- But ... I really want. I want to make a snowman that I can look at from the window when I'm home.

- Later , Leia. Not now.

The Nine-year old girl was sad. Her eyes welled with tears, the smile disappeared from her lips. She looked at the sweaty glass. With her little finger she painted a snowman who she dreamed to make. Painted his head, body, broom in his hands, a big nose and ...a smile. Though his smile reflected on her pale face. It made her feel better.

- Time for a pill Leia - said her mother.

She moved away from the window. She went back to her bed and covered her bare legs with a fluffy blanket. Her Mother gave her a pill and she took it obediently.

- When will I go out to play in the snow like the other kids, Mom? - Watching her with questioning eyes.

- When you heal - her mother replied after a moment's silence and stroked her soft blond hair. - Now sleep. You need to rest.

Leia did not resist. She sat silently in her soft bed and hugged her stuffed bunny, without which she could not sleep since she was three years old. Closed her eyes. She felt the lips of her mother on her cold cheek and heard her footsteps when she went out of the room. Almost immediately she fell into a deep sleep. Her dream has come true, she is out of the house, she is with her friends. They are playing in the snow together and made a big snowman outside her house. Long they enjoyed the outdoors without feeling cold, hunger or fatigue. She was happy and her smile never disappeared even for a moment. She felt better than ever.

It was late afternoon when Leia woke up. In the room she sensed a cinnamon flavor that came from the kitchen. She quickly got out of bed to warm her shoes and slippers to go with her mother. She had prepared her favorite cake, which always made her feel happy. She sat in the chair behind the table and immediately took a piece of it. She tried a few bites and then went back to the plate. She looked at the clock on the wall opposite the table and saw that it was already late.

- Dad still not back from work? - She asked curiously.

- He ... - The mother looked at her with a smile - He is waiting for you outside.

- Outside?! - her mother nodded.

She quickly put her favorite red coat on, put her scarf around her neck and put on herwinter shoes. Opened the door and out into the yard. Her mother followed her. Leia saw her father, who was smiling with delight and next to him was a big snowman that was made for his daughter. She rushed to hug him and thank him for doing this for her. She was so happy that her little heart was beating like crazy. She looked at the snowman. It was exactly what she wanted. It was even in the same place she wanted it to be. So she could watch it through the window when she is in the house. She wanted to touch the snow, to feel the softness of her little hands. She leaned down and picked up a handful of snow in her hand. She looked as if she was studying it. Her eyes reflected the light. She managed to see different little stars that seem to be hugged. At that moment she felt a cough. She coughed loudly and could barely breathe. Her whole body began to shake. She saw drops of blood in the snow in front of her. So bright the scarlet color stood out on the white snowy canvas. Like an abstract painting that was accidentally painted. Then her mother hurried to embrace her and to take her home to warm up.

Snow lasted about a week. The Snowman was already starting to melt, but Leia was still enjoying it with a smile through the window of the room. She imagined it as a living being, without voice she spoke to him, sharing her thoughts, telling him stories. And at night when asleep,she dreamt that she's out and chasing him in the snow and was making more snowmen to play with.

The Winter holidays were approaching. The streets had garlands, bells and decorated Christmas trees in front of people's homes. The Festive mood wafted through the air and everyone felt it. At Leia's home Christmas was also fast approaching. The little girl was helping her mother decorate the Christmas tree with colorful toys and lights that would illuminate the house at night. As every year, Leia wanted to put the angel with white wings on top of the Christmas tree. Her mother lifted her hands, and she managed to hang the doll at its allotted place. And when the angel stood at the top of the tree to protect the house and the people in it, Leia could see how his lips moved and he smiled at her. She could not believe it was true, but she still saw his face as a real being who looked at her kindly with gleaming eyes and kept her smiling sweetly. Slivers of light resembling star rays rushed around and lit the room. Leia looked and felt like a princess, wrapped in the magic of a fairy godmother. But when her mother took it off the ground again, all the magic was gone. The tree was again a simply decorated Christmas tree and the angel on top of it - just a doll ...

- It is time to write your letter to Santa - said the Leia's mother. - You were very good this year, so I'm sure you get the best gifts.

- No ... - said the girl - I don't want gifts, Mom. - She smiled, looking at her mother.

- You can ask anything. Write it on Santa Claus and I will send him.

Leia nodded and went back to her room. She picked her favorite storybook and settled again next to the window. She looked out. The Snowman was gone. In his place there was only a pile of melting snow. It made her sad, because now her friend was now gone. But she knew that that's life - everything is born into this world to die one day... So try not to succumb to sadness. She opened the book of fairy tales and began to read. Her little eyes, while walking between rows of words, drifted into the world of imagination. She was able to see big castles with princes and princesses, enchanted forests and mermaids in the sea. Again, everything around her shone like a magical light which enveloped. It made her feel comfortable and her heart was filled with joy.

On Christmas Eve, in Leia’s home there was a real celebration. Her grandparents had come to visit, her aunt, her favorite cousins. The whole family would celebrate together. The table was laid with delicious dishes and appetizing aroma drifted through the house. While they were eating dinner near the decorated Christmas tree, under which they had left many gifts, all laughed, talked and enjoyed the time they spent together.

Leia stood in place and silently watched her loved ones. She smiled while she turn to the others, seated around her. She had not eaten the little food in front of her, but that was normal for her. No longer do she have the appetite of normal children her age. But now she did not care. She just wanted to enjoy the moment that she is with her family who love her, who care for her and wanted to give her everything she needed.

- Are you alright, dear? - Her mother asked quietly, gently touching her hand.

- I'm tired - she said. - I want to sleep.

Her mother accompanied her to the room. She gave her the pill she had to drink before going to sleep and helped her to sit up in bed. Leia hugged her teddy bunny and closed her eyes. Her mother kissed her on the forehead and whispered:

- You have not written a letter to Santa. What will he bring you in the morning?

- I got everything I wanted - Leia replied in a whisper, without opening her little eyes.

Her mother smiled with tears in her eyes. She turned it up and walked to the door. But before leaving the room she stopped because again heard the quiet voice of her daughter.

- I love you Mom!

- I love you, Leia - she said and left her alone.

It was late at night when Leia woke up. The house was quiet. Guests were gone, and her parents had gone to bed. She opened her eyes, because of that bright light had filled her room again. It was playing in front of her, as if trying not to leave her to sleep. She got out of bed and looked out the window. Again it was snowing. snowflakes were raining from the sky like shooting stars. Radiating glow that only she could see. She went to the window, reflected on the walls in her room, the furniture, the books. It lived only in her eyes. She was smiling. She enjoyed the fairy tale when she was in. She was a princess living in her magic castle. She had the magic that made the world more beautiful and good. She was enjoying the lights around her because they were small fairies, who protected her. The imagination wrote her history and Leia knew what end she wanted to add.

She took a sheet of paper and pen. She sat in the chair behind the desk in her room. She took a deep breath and began to write. The first words that left on the white sheet was the beginning of her letter, beginning with: Dear Santa ...

After a few minutes, Leia put the letter in an envelope. Sealed it and painted a smile on its back. She quietly opened the door of her room. She quickly ran with her bare feet to the tree in the living room. The lights shone around and reminded the girl of small fireflies floating in the air. She knelt under the Christmas tree and looked through the gifts wrapped with pretty paper and ribbons underneath. She left her letter among them, but in a prominent place not go unnoticed. She stood up and looked at the top of the tree. The halo above the angel shone like the sun, and he was smiling at her gently. Because of a shadow that fell over his face, Leia could not see the tears in his eyes twinkling. So she just smiled and went back to bed. She hugged her favorite toy and closed her eyes. She felt that she could sleep now, despite the dancing stars around her.

The morning was quiet. The snow was drifting , it had amassed in the streets. Trees enjoyed their white robes, the children were running again and rules snowmen. All people shook hands and greeted with "Merry Christmas". Leia's parents awoke and went into the living room. Gifts under the tree were waiting to be opened. Leia's father saw the envelope and he was sure it wasn't under the Christmas tree before he went to bed. He approached and took it in his arms. He saw the smile painted on its back.

- I'm going to wake Leia up - said his wife. - I'm sure she will be eager to see her presents.

He nodded and opened the letter. He took the paper and read in the lines written on it with a beautiful and correct handwriting.

"Dear Santa Claus,

I don't write this letter to ask for gifts. I don't want toys or clothes or new books. What I want is to help Mom and Dad to accept what I have already accepted. I know they don't want to cry, so don't tell me the truth. I don't have a cold. I know what I have will not go away with the pills that mom gives me every day. I've been sick for several months ... I am grateful to them for doing everything to make me feel good. But I feel that my condition is deteriorating. The cough becomes stronger, I'm losing more weight, and my skin has acquired the color of snow. Around me I see things that are not real, but they are beautiful. I want to close my eyes and stay with this magical image in my mind. I want to stay forever in this fairy tale and never to wake up ... "

Leia's father wept silently, clutching the letter to his chest. Then he heard a desperate cry from his daughter's room, which split the silence, overlaid the house.

- No! Leia! No!

He already knew what had happened.

© Art by James Browne

Many thanks to Ralitsa Padalska